Wednesday, March 30, 2011


The 2011 season officially opens this afternoon. I got a jump on the reading season by starting The New York Yanquis, by Bill Granger (Arcade Publishing: 1995).

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Man child in the outfield

In The Greatest Slump of All Time (Harper & Row: 1984), David Carkeet presents a small ensemble cast of ten (nine players and their manager); the limited number to present a story about a baseball team. Roaming left field is Buford Ellenbogen, described by the author as "big, blond Buford". He's certainly the largest player on the team (one teammate admits he'd rather be hit by a train than have Ellenbogen run over him). Prior to becoming a professional baseball player his claim to fame was eating six consecutive entrees at his hometown Denny's. But Buford is a gentle giant; according to the team's center fielder, Eddie Johnson, Buford has "that gentle touch."

Buford is not the brightest bulb on the team, but he is full of good humor and "once or twice comes up with [a joke], himself." The team's manager believes that if he told Buford to "turn around backward in the batter's box and hang his ass over the plate, he'd do it." He is the type of person who wants to please; he tends to defer to the will of others, particularly his wife, who decided the two should get married and when, and that they should have children. He is genuinely surprised as things work out as they do, as if he had no preconceived idea as to what might or might not happen. Buford is seemingly pleased with his life. In fact, he is often seen sitting back feeling completely content to be a ballplayer.

Despite his good humor, and seemingly innocent outlook, Buford suffers from parental anxiety. He worries about the type of husband he will be, what kind of father he will become, and over how to protect his children. He decides at one point that his daughters will never be allowed in a baseball stadium where they might (both) be struck by the same line drive. Basketball games are out too (Buford images a seven foot center landing on his child and breaking her pelvis); going to football games could be bad, as well, as winter is full of snow storms and icy roads. (Indoor track? he wonders - no, the roof might cave in). Buford learns by trial and error. He overcomes his parental anxiety by practicing parenthood on a teammate's child (with mixed results), but in the end it is fatherhood that propels him to stardom. During the World Series, he hits a winning grand slam and throws out the potential winning run at the plate in extra innings all the while thinking of how he spent the previous night changing diapers.

In this small cast of characters, Buford Ellenbogen proves to be bigger than his physical build. Buford's character is not the lovable loser who initially appears in the story, but more the big dumb oaf who lumbers out to the plate and laughs at everyone's bad jokes. He's the overgrown kid, the innocent who in the end you discover is more adult than anyone else.